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Are You In An Abusive Relationship?

There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner—constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up—chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive.

Other signs that you may be in an abusive relationship include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.

Ask yourself these questions, and answer them honestly.The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship.

Are you afraid of, or often taking over-cautious measures to keep your spouse or partner from being angry?

Does your partner often insult, ignore, harshly criticize you for little things, or get angry with you when you make or suggestion a decision that alters from his/her own choice?

Is your partner in control of the clothes you wear, the friends you see, your finances, or other general areas of your life?

Does your partner often become jealous, or accuse you of being unfaithful without any catalyst?

Is your partner prone to sudden changes of mood, from happy to depressed, or relaxed to enraged?

Have you made any changes to your life just to keep your partner from being angry or threatening towards you?

Do you constantly have to remind yourself not to freely speak your mind, or suggest ideas, or opinions?

Answering yes to more than one, or even one of these questions could mean your are in an abusive relationship. However, there are still other ways to tell, such as remembering to look for warning signs

A major warning sign is if your partner has been in an abusive relationship, before this one. An abuser can change; but more often than not, they refuse to admit they have anger and violence problems.

When your partner begins insulting your friends, and making subtle, or even blatant restrictions against you seeing them; or maybe even constantly interrupting plans made with other friends.

When you partner loses his or her temper, becoming violently angry, over minor annoyances, small mistakes, or accidents, whether it’s with you, children, friends, coworkers, or anyone.

Another warning sign is a generally misogynistic, or chauvinist attitudes or ideals about how men and women should interact, and a refusal to even discuss those ideas with reason.

All the decisions and choices about the relationship is made by him or her, while your needs, suggestions, and ideas go ignored, and are easily dismissed, possibly even in anger.

These are important signals in your relationship, regardless of your gender, that something is not right. There may be space for repair, and there may not be, but the first thing to do is make a decision for yourself. You have the right to be in a safe, healthy relationship and if your current partner is taking that away from you then it’s time to make some choices.

Domestic violence is not acceptable and should not be tolerated whether the victim is male or female. Every person has the right to live a life free from violence.

If you are in an abusive relationship and requires an urgent response or needs in-depth support please contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

Domestic Violence UK